21 April 2008 @ 10:42 pm
Voice Post - So I was in the E.R. tonight. I'M TOTALLY FINE!!  

Mostly. Allergy shots make my system more sensitive to medications its been taking for *days*. Wackiness ensues.

locale: couch.
mood:: sick
26 February 2008 @ 12:44 am
Please let this be PMS related... Please?  
Lately I've been just around the corner from curling into a weepy ball of tears. Y'know how you... wait. "You" are not me. ::ahem:: *I* sometimes turn into a weepy mush ball; curled up in a fetal position on my bed crying into my many many pillows. Mostly this happens when I've had the same headache for two weeks straight. It's the weepy flopping of frustration, weakness, losing and grief. Grief can tug at us until we fall over into a puddle of weepy tears. And well... I'm not there. But it's like I'm moving towards it. Like *that* is right around this corner I'm approaching. And I just read this lovely story and turned into a weepy puddle for a bit and... I just kind of want to curl into a ball and not wake up until June or next fall or fall of 2009 - when I can go home.

I don't hate L.A. as much as I used to, but it's still not home. )

Okay i feel better. Allergies are weighing me down more than the SoCal Isolation. Which is good. I can... hand wave a medical issue out of my face more easily than the SoCal Isolation. I think maybe it's time to get a hepa filter. And maybe try that sinus rinse thing. Like Dean said to his inner Deamon, I don't deserve this. I'm awesome! The trick is remembering that. Stupid childhood abuse fucking with my self-worth.

Speaking of SoCal, I met a bunch of you at Wincon. I remember many gleeful moments of ::gasp:: YOU LIVE HERE?!! We should... do things. Super things.
mood:: gloomy
grooving to: Chevelle - One Lonely Visitor
30 May 2007 @ 11:24 pm
Roll call! And did I tell y'all I sprained my ankle? No? Huh...  
Hullo! Fanpocolypse! I modified my interests, locked down those two (expired ysi links) porn posts and archived my journal. Y'all should go get counted.

Oh and I have a clone over at Greatest Journal. My god that is a fugly default theme. Right then.

So last February I sprained my ankle. No, no I don't believe I mentioned it. Ah, it's in a private post that goes like this )

Right. Oh but guess what?

I re-injured the newly sprained ankle  )

Um I was making this post for a reason.... oh right! Walking! There's a funny story in here I swear. Or at least a story that's attempting to be funny.

So the sprain is doing *awesome*. )

Then we walked around for a bit. Saw the prettiest boyman on our tour of the YMCA. He had that SoCal tan and beautiful hazel eyes and oh god just so PRETTEH. And when we got back from the walk I iced my (sore) ankle and arch and it was Good.
grooving to: Placebo - Pure Morning
mood:: happy
23 October 2006 @ 09:19 pm
Voice Post - Sudafed Nazis, Stress Workshop and Work  
23 August 2006 @ 02:50 am
Government Issued Shiny Yellow Binder  
I have my semi-gloss shiny yellow government issued accutane binder. And the biggest thing for women and accutane is pregnancy. Dr R assures me that "abstinence and the pill is a pretty good regime for accutane." Doc R is adorkable.

My acne is hormonal. It's the same pattern. Ovulate, break out CRAZY, cycle, heal and be pretty. The pill is the only reason my skin is so clear at the cons. I cheat and time the break outs so cons get the good week. But I hate the pill. While the acne is better on the pill the period pain is not. The first few days of my "cycle" put me down with full body migraines and back aches requiring a full vicoden dose on top of the near gram of ibuprofen. I want off the pill. But oh god my break outs are SO LONG without it. I "naturally" cycle every 40 days or so. So those painful breakouts are like three weeks long and take two weeks to heal and then BAM another break out. So yay accutane!

Y'all will likely be hearing about the accutane regime. I'll be wearing daily sun screen for the first time ever. There could be peeling and red faced nastiness. Oh and don't try to scare me off it. There's no way in hell I plan have acne when I'm 30. And I've done EVERYTHING else. Dietary changes, different topical EVERYTHING. Various antibiotics. And no one should have to risk having a bruised esophagus because tetracycline is sticky. No one should ever take erythromycin ever if the doctor's instructions are, "Take two a day, but if you find yourself vomiting just take one." Guess who was up vomiting 'till 5am *that* night? And daily septra? Ch'yeah. Because I WANT to become immune to my own healthy bacteria.

My shiny yellow binder has a government issued ID card. I have to go to the Shiny Yellow Binder site and do questionnaires and stuff before I even do the blood tests. I can't find a picture of it online... I should just scan mine and icon it. *g*
grooving to: Mr Timberlake
mood:: amused
09 July 2006 @ 04:32 pm
South Beach Diet not quite whining  
OMG this is a very boring post. I'm sorry but... gah. It needed posting for future referencing? Something.

My brothers have crazy high cholesterol for a 25 and 19yro vegetarian respectively. When Fred* was 22 his cholesterol was 320 - it's down to 215 now, but damn! So as a sibling bonding thing we all went to get our cholesterol tested last year. Mine is fine, but it turns out that my triglycerides are way high making me pre-diabetic. Not. Cool. The doc recommended the South Beach Diet. And after three months of hint dropping and a tiny bit of badgering I got [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa to join me. *glee* We started Phase One - the completely carbless/fruitless/sugarless phase - last Sunday. And last night?

Last night I dreamt of crackers and pastry. I'm pretty sure I dreamt about baklava. Oh god baklava... Yeah so for the most part the SBD isn't very difficult. I find the structure soothing and it's easier for me to decide what to eat - an activity I usually dread. I just really hate the cooking. God the lazy in me... she is strong. I don't have booming new energy or anything. I think I've lost a few pounds... (I don't actually own a scale - scales are evil!) But my pants that were tight last week (when I was PMSing and bloated) are looser. Yay?

Yeah, so I'm ambivalent, but I'm sticking with it until the pre-diabetic is *poof gone*.

*My brothers Fred and George! *dies*
mood:: contemplative
grooving to: Tokyo Drift Soundtrack
06 June 2006 @ 05:26 pm
Make it stop? Please?

In addition to forgetting to take a dose of pain killers for 3 hours and HAVING MY BRAIN DIE SO COMPLETELY 2 HOURS LATER IT HAS NOT RECOVERED I am being an emo emo girl.

My stomach hurts. Is a 24oz coffee too big with all these drugs I'm taking? No, seriously. I'm taking an ass load of drugs right now )

And I forgot my phone today so I can't make a certain phone call I want to make *koffsubtlekoff*, because I'm at work and there's no like *office* I can hide in. Plus [livejournal.com profile] permetaform is still gone and... God I hate mondays. Shut up I know it's Tuesday, but it's my Monday.

*groans and sneezes and groans some more*
locale: work
mood:: GAH!!!!
05 June 2006 @ 05:33 am
Summer SUCKS!!! *HAAAAATE*  
My "seasonal" allergies start in April and end in November. But I peak during summer. During summer I get shit ass migraines. Not the flashing light, not the laying down in a dark room. Just pain. And sometimes a migraine will creep down the right side of my head into my neck, shoulder, down my arm and into my wrist and a good portion of my hand. And every once in a while? I get a full on body migraine. And by full on I mean just the right (or very very rarely the left) hand side.

I was just unprepared today. I mean who's prepared for a migraine that starts in your head, slithers down your neck, lances itself around your shoulder and then PUTS A VICE ON YOUR HIP AND POUNDS YOU IN THE THIGH UNTIL YOU CAN'T MOVE?!!!

So now my thigh feels bruised and beaten. And there's still a vice on my hip. Plus I can't quite sleep yet. This would be better if my Imitrex prescription was here - it's still being shipped. So I'm faking Imitrex with vicoden, Amadrine and excedrine migraine - on top of the Alleve I'm already taking for the sinus pain. And all these drugs make me tired, lethargic and grouchy. Well the pain more than the drugs, but... This is why I hate summer. Well this and the fact that when it gets above 80 if I don't already have a headache I will Get One. Y'know how heat expands molecules? Yeah, well my sinuses are *full* of molecules. And their expansion is really fucking painful - and puts a vice on my brain so that I'm operating on par with stupid. I really really hate being stupid. And I really hate it when my eyeballs are trying to flee from their sockets via expansion. I'm fretting because tomorrow I head to Wine Country, to the Parents, for a family meeting about The Boy and Wine Country? Kills me. Like seriously, there was this time when I was a kid and I couldn't SEE my eyes were swollen SHUT.

I'm seriously afraid of that place. Fuckity.
mood:: bitter
grooving to: Stupidified - Disturbed
02 June 2006 @ 01:32 pm
The pollen is totally PWNing me today.  
The Pollen Report puts the top 3 pollen offenders up. Cedar/Juniper bumped... something. Cedar/Juniper? Is like my kryptonite. I am just *not* awake. I've had coffee, I ate, i'm drinking water, I've doped up on pain killers and decongestants. No seriously, I should be like high or something. But instead? I could barely drive myself to work today. And it's like 3:30 and oh god I could just... zzzzzzzzzz.

Keel me?

The upside is that the overseas pharmacy I use finally got Allegra - which I totally can't afford on US soil. Hopefully this time next month I'll be feeling normal. But oh god I won't normalize for like at least 2 weeks (10 days freight shipping and 7 days for allegra to kick in). *blinks heavy lids*

*comes back from lunch*
*takes 'nother round of pain killers*

I have a giant coke. I'm feeling a little bit better. Also? The Jeep Count today is at 2.5 - the 0.5 is for the Jeep I saw from *inside* the store.
mood:: lethargic omg
grooving to: Elvis in the front, Kasabian in the back.
23 March 2006 @ 12:51 am
GIP - Fuck South Dakota  
I haven't said much about South Dakota. I... I don't really know what to say. I am devastated and fantasizing about starting my own Jane movement. I've had two abortions. One when I was *just* 17 and the other when I was 19, but that one turned out to be an ectopic that nearly killed me. I dream about that second pregnancy sometimes. She would've turned 8 this month. I mourn but I wouldn't have done anything differently.

I haven't been able to read anything about South Dakota until my baby brother, son of my heart, sent me a link to Nicholas Wind's article Fuck South Dakota. I understand now that Bill Napoli is ignorant to the point of committing evil. In his mind only raped virgins teetering on the verge of madness should have abortions. Mr. Wind had this to say:

Hang on one motherfucking second. The only women this asshole thinks should be allowed to get abortions are the ones who never miss church? What kind of ass-backward, bullshit argument is that? Is this the new virginity promotion plan? Keep your hymen intact, pray on your knees every night, and if you’re unlucky enough to get brutally raped in one of Bill Napoli’s fantasies (and sodomized, nice touch), you’ll be able to get your abortion nice and legal-like, provided the whole experience has left your noggin fried to a tender golden crisp. That, right there, is fucking brilliant. Can we outlaw prime rib for everyone but the vegans next?

I love him a lot. Go read his article and be cheered by his whimsical rage. Also? I totally made this icon from an image in Mr. Wind's article. I *really* want to make t-shirts out of it. Stolen Icon totally shareable.

Everything [livejournal.com profile] ginmar says? Is razor laced gold and [livejournal.com profile] mona1347 has the right idea.
grooving to: Benny Benassi - Satisfaction
mood:: enraged
01 July 2005 @ 03:54 am
Pollen. Oh How I Hate Thee.  
This post was started earlier today. Before shit hit the fan.

The Pollen is trying to kill me. Today it was winning. Sharipova and Venus on the TIVO are distracting me from the fact that my brain is trying to squeeze its way outside my skull through my eyeballs. I have found things to amuse myself, but now I rely on y'all to help me.

I need ridiculously funny links. I have a feeling the weekend is going to keel me. To start off this begging properly I would flog myself if I didn't rec [livejournal.com profile] mistful's Review of Star Wars. Best Review of Revenge of the Sith EVER.

A taste:

ANAKIN: I had a dream like when Mom died and it was about you and you're going to die.
PADME: Don't be silly. Come to bed.
ANAKIN: No, but - I'm a Jedi - I have prophetic dreams - it's going to happen-
PADME: Off to bed with the silly muffin.

(for your h8ers!)
OBI-WAN: Now that you're pissed you weren't made Master, is this a good time to ask you to go against the Jedi way and spy on Palpatine, who you really like?
ANAKIN: *does a very good impression of an angry, vain kid who doesn't understand about moral shades of grey*
AUDIENCE: That's weird. It looks like Hayden Christiansen, but it's acting.
OBI-WAN: ... that'd be a no, then?

JEDI JACKSON: Evil? Palpatine? Are you sure?
ANAKIN: He told me so himself! He said 'evil' like 50000 times!... I'm almost positive!

PALPATINE: So the Jedi Council asked you to spy on me, huh?
ANAKIN: Oh my God, you can read minds?!... I mean, why would you say that?
PALPATINE: Might I add, the Dark Side can save lives. Like, as a random example, the life of any secret wives you might happen to have lying about. For instance.
ANAKIN: That's interesting.

ANAKIN: I have brought peace to this land!
OBI-WAN: The whole land is being swallowed by lava and its literal hellishness symbolises the hell of the Empire and the devastation of your own soul! Lucas is not all that subtle!
ANAKIN: Well... you should never have let me listen to the rock and roll music!

DOCTORS: So, Padme's fine and all, but she's dying of a broken heart, just like in a Victorian romance OMG! Who here has read Richardson's Clarissa?
PADME (faintly): Oh la, sir, I do believe I have the vapours.
OBI-WAN: I do believe you're having the babies, actually.
grooving to: Elliot Smith (he kilt himself y'know?)
mood:: crazy