19 February 2015 @ 03:12 am
One Year Later... The Universe said mebbe.  
So when we left off Dalton and I were headed to SF for the first time. Four trips and almost a year later...


UCSF: Must be his medication th at has been the same for over a year but is suddenly MAKING HIM HORRIBLY ILL.

Stanford: We actually have no idea what's going on. All the labs are clear. Here, have some Physical Therapy, Cognitive Rehabilitation (memory training) Therapy and come back in FIVE MOTHER FUCKING MONTHS.

So, we reached out to our Dr Advocate Awesome Sauce (her ringtone is the A-Team theme). She reached out to her global stack of doctors again with a slightly different symptom list and BLAMMO. We're on our last doctor in the state of California. And he just might have actually hit on itIT

NORMAL PRESSURE HYDROCEPHALUS BITCHES. WHICH I RESEARCHED LAST MOTHERFUCKEN YEAR. Which is relevant b'c this doctor was all "Go home, think about it. Do some reading."


Flocked post with more details.
mood:: hopeful
grooving to: Supernatural 1x19 Provenance (creepy painting)
02 September 2009 @ 11:52 am
I live! News from the Southland - no fires near me!  
Super awesome collection of fire maps. LINK.

And satellite photos! LINK.

LA Times has a groovy fire map. LINK

I live about a mile inland from the Coast - waaaaaaaaaaaay far (in LA miles) from the fires. The smoke isn't too bad here either since I can fee the ocean breeze from my apartment. And I swear the only thing keeping me from being totally miserable is that big blueish ocean out there. There's this circle of Not!Clouds all the way around us and a spot of blue sky directly above. It's like being in the eye of a very still Not!Hurricane made of dark gray smoke clouds that just hover above the horizen.
04 August 2009 @ 10:58 am
I'm in Las Vegas through Saturday!  
I'll be in Las Vegas for a work thing this Wednesday through Friday night, leaving Saturday morning.

I have George with me. Anybody wanna get together? Like say...

[livejournal.com profile] delibby and [livejournal.com profile] aerynvala?

Anybody else?
mood:: thoughtful
locale: My cube! 0.7 miles from the Santa Monica Bay
grooving to: Erin McKeown - Softly Moses
20 March 2009 @ 04:00 pm
So I had this awesome job, right? ::LOUD BUZZER SOUND::  
In other news George and Fred are doing AMAZING. George (the younger) got a really awesome therapist and is even taking college classes now! Fred is talking to GIRLS and feeling confident in himself.

My step-brother is getting married on May 17th. Damon* and I will be in the Bay Area for the event.

Apparently I am not so much with the awesome job having anymore. I lost my job last week. ::SUCK:: Let me essplain to you exactly how this girl "lost" (WHERE ARE MY KEYS!!) her job...

My boyfriend, Damon*, had cranial decompression (brain) surgery on March 2nd. I took that week and the following Monday off of work to help him out. When I went back to work on Tuesday the 10th, I was Terminated and escorted from the office by 11:00.

So like... a whole month in advance I submitted some vacation days and they were approved. Upon returning from said vacation days I was axed. FOR NO GOOD REASON. There were no company cut backs. No tightening of the belts We Can't Afford IT Anymore. Nope. The NY office has just been systematically removing things from the CA office that were too antithetical to a NY Attitude. And apparently *I* am antithetical to a NY 'Tude.

Which is totally true. I'm bright, friendly, speak slowly and clearly so that the listener can understand me, oh and I genuinely LIKE and am exceedingly FRIENDLY with ALL of my co-workers/users. Not that NY peeps are all assholes, but I sometimes even nauseate my fellow Californians with my bright, sunny and perky disposition. Shame on ME!

\/\/ (whatever hands)

So I went back to Damon's house promptly picked up where I'd left off the night before, taking care of Damon while he recovers from BRAIN SURGERY. Damon was treated for his Chiari Malformation, learn here. He's doing AMAZING. In part because I'm an awesome care giver. No, really. I skeered a nurse. And am officially in charge of a six foot 220lbs Grown Ass Man until April 1st, when we will evaluate his ability to self-care and NOT over-flipping-do-it.

These days there's nothing shinier than: putting your tiny 5'3 self in front of a 6'0 tall man, slapping your hand onto his chest and calmly telling him to Stop and put the pliers down and he does. He actually goes limp and relaxed and sits on the couch like a schooled little boy. And if he's been very good and relaxing a lot he gets blow jobs and sex. Because we believe in positive reinforcement and we totally loves our Damon.
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mood:: aggravated
grooving to: Fila Brazillia - The Bugs Will Bite (Groove Salad: a nicely chilled plate of ambient beats and groov
05 November 2008 @ 08:37 am
Voice Post - It's an Obama Day!  

Obama's purity of spirit is AWESOME.

Oh and I have a boyfriend now, who is a political fanboy. I brought him a cake, which he ate and then cried while Obama showed us (again) just how awesome he is.

To those of you attending bascon: I MISS YOU ALL.
14 October 2008 @ 09:15 am
Voice Post - Update of sorts.  

1. Still allergic to Southern California.
2. Moving to the Santa Monica area into a Bachelor - room w/hotplate & Microwave. no kitchen.
3. Work Office moving to Glendale early November. OH GOD I MIGHT DIE FROM THE PRESSURE.
4. [livejournal.com profile] gelasius and I are On Hold.
5. We are PALS.
6. NO BASCON FOR ME. As my office is moving that VERY WEEKEND.
7. AND my boss is in town for TWO WEEKS.
8. I might DIE.
9. The new phone means you should be hearing from me more.

Sadly that last one turned out to be a dirty dirty LIE!
16 August 2008 @ 06:59 pm
Sanity. I have found it. Boss phallic obsession *POOF* GONE!  
I no longer want to have sex with my boss. This is a great wonderful bone inflating relief. Jack was is in town this weekend to help move servers from our other L.A. office that is closing to my L.A. office. So Jack and Kyle (the IT monkey/me in the NY office) were both out here this week.

I was a little lost in the thrall of my own obsession. And I can call it that now. I can look at it with hindsight, one regret - that is an actual regret now - and a beautiful fresh breeze of clarity and call that obsession. I want to thank each and every one of you who looked at me like I was a crazy damn fool, told me I was a crazy person, and just generally kept calling attention to the fact that my behavior was whack.

Please never stop telling me when I'm out of my damn mind. Even when it looks like I'm not listening, and I'm rationalizing and justifying my crazy behavior to your face I'm still listening. And I love you.

I think my obsession with Jack's penis was preventing me from coming here and talking with you about all the wonderful, not so wonderful but always educational sexcapades I've been having. I was always comparing the boys to this hot one time encounter where I seduced a man totally by surprise. and the success of that seduction was an amazing rush and thrill. The experiences I've had since then have subdued my thrill seeking desire. I have one steady lover, Damon*, who was just supposed to be Experienced Older Guy (he's 42), but who is one of the kinkiest people I would ever like to meet. He's also very sweet, giving and fast to becoming a friend that I plan to keep.

This isn't the intro I wanted for Damon. I wanted some grand sweeping introduction but... whatever. Damon's awesome and he lives in Venice. ON THE BEACH. Okay like three blocks off the beach, but I get out of the car and INHALE THE OCEAN. And Venice is close enough to the right freeways I can stay there during the week and still get to work without suffering through too much L.A. traffic.

So expect to be hearing more about what I've Learned, why Fat Dicks on stupid people are harrowing, 20yros can be the hottest thing ever and (San Francisco) Bay Area people are the sexiest people ever - no matter where they are.

This does not mean that I now consider my boss an ordinary human being. I still think Jack is the shit and can walk on water, hang the moon and PWN technology so hard I want to eat him up or put him in my pocket to eat later. We're IT. We're fucken Rock Stars.
grooving to: Kate Nash - Pumpkin Soup
mood:: thoughtful
26 February 2008 @ 12:44 am
Please let this be PMS related... Please?  
Lately I've been just around the corner from curling into a weepy ball of tears. Y'know how you... wait. "You" are not me. ::ahem:: *I* sometimes turn into a weepy mush ball; curled up in a fetal position on my bed crying into my many many pillows. Mostly this happens when I've had the same headache for two weeks straight. It's the weepy flopping of frustration, weakness, losing and grief. Grief can tug at us until we fall over into a puddle of weepy tears. And well... I'm not there. But it's like I'm moving towards it. Like *that* is right around this corner I'm approaching. And I just read this lovely story and turned into a weepy puddle for a bit and... I just kind of want to curl into a ball and not wake up until June or next fall or fall of 2009 - when I can go home.

I don't hate L.A. as much as I used to, but it's still not home. )

Okay i feel better. Allergies are weighing me down more than the SoCal Isolation. Which is good. I can... hand wave a medical issue out of my face more easily than the SoCal Isolation. I think maybe it's time to get a hepa filter. And maybe try that sinus rinse thing. Like Dean said to his inner Deamon, I don't deserve this. I'm awesome! The trick is remembering that. Stupid childhood abuse fucking with my self-worth.

Speaking of SoCal, I met a bunch of you at Wincon. I remember many gleeful moments of ::gasp:: YOU LIVE HERE?!! We should... do things. Super things.
grooving to: Chevelle - One Lonely Visitor
mood:: gloomy
13 February 2008 @ 12:40 am
The Family is GOOD. Work is also good. Girlfriend is awesome!  
George and Fred are doing really really awesome. George is taking classical guitar lessons and helping Dad out with the computer business. Fred can handle his stress hectic job without the desperate urge to run from the room. Fred is also back to photography! He and Dad accidentally discovered this new lighting method to use in the house and the results are BREATH TAKING OMG!! Like... Fred's soul? Aura, essence, State of Being shows up in his photography. George's in his music. And Fred's photography is so... gah. I'll try to get some for posting, but it may prove to be difficult, perfectionist that he is.

Work continues to be awesome.

[livejournal.com profile] gelasius is coming out for our birthdays - end of March or early April. Yes, I'll be bringing her 'round. Or maybe we'll all just meet up for chicken and waffles?
grooving to: Claude VonStroke - Cicada 17 Year Mix [Justin Martin Remix]
mood:: relaxed
19 January 2008 @ 05:50 pm
I'm in the Bay Area!  
And it's a three day weekend! And I'm working in San Francisco on Tuesday. I'm mostly not leaving Robert's house b'c I AM TIRED AND DON'T WANT TO GET OFF OF THE COUCH, but would love to visit with people Monday. Any takers?
mood:: exhausted
grooving to: Rsident Evil
31 December 2007 @ 01:08 am
So hey whirld. How you be?  
I'm goooood. [/peanut]

So you wanna hear what's been going on? I know I haven't told you in a while. Wow. I feel all powerful and full of rich juicy gossip. Or something. Okay we're going to do this in list format:
  • My Parents are now living in Berkeley full time.
  • With George and Fred.
  • George is doing AWESOME.
  • Fred is good pretty damn good.
  • I LOVE MY JOB LIKE BURNING. I'm sending my NY cohorts baked goods to reward them for their AWESOMENESS.
  • i have no off season for pollen disease in southern california. this makes me very upset. but i refuse to emote over it. so this is my pissy non-emoting font.
  • My girlfriend? Yeah, the same one as before. SHE LOVES ME LIKE BURNING. And there were those few months between my NY trip and wincon where she was doing a *thing* and coming to grips with our relationship and RAN AWAY AND WASN'T TALKING TO ME. And stuff. And so I gave her some space. Which was pretty easy because that was the time George was in and out of the hospital and then Fred and... stuff. So [livejournal.com profile] gelasius had space and we talked about it and it brought us closer (as these things do with us) AND NOW SHE IS THE MOST AWESOME GIRLFRIEND IN CREATION. Oh wait 'till I tell you about Chicago bitches. It gets its own post. THERE WAS SO MUCH GOOD FOOD OMG. And this white stuff, on the ground? I think they call it snow? ;-D
  • Did I mention I got a raise at my 90 day review? And I wasn't even *supposed* to. THEY LOVE ME THAT MUCH. *\o/*
This update was interrupted by [livejournal.com profile] permetaform's need to go to the hospital - again. She's totally fine! It turns out the advice nurse (on the phone) was over reacting a bit and the ER doc totally didn't think it meritted an ER vist. [livejournal.com profile] permetaform has a delightful account here
  • Life is my new favorite show. Expect pimping.
  • The music on Life just... rocks my world. I want ALL of it. Every ep has me scouring the interwebs for tracks and artists I never even heard of before. And there is a convenient list here.
  • I went to a dyke bar in Chicago and discovered that I'm ridonkulously gay for [livejournal.com profile] gelasius but not quite so gay for the world, while [livejournal.com profile] gelasius is perhaps a little more gay. More details in a post that is not the general Chicago post.
  • I can not work 15 hour days ontop of "normal" 12 hour days. And don't get mad at my job. I did that to myself. I mean granted, I support a bunch of impatient, can't-clear-a-paper-jam-to-save-their-lives LA people but Jack (my boss) also agrees that I was working too much. Y'know... BECAUSE I BROKE STUFF AND THEN GOT ON A PLANE FOR CHICAGO. ::cough:: And he uh... had to clean up my mess.
  • I haven't been to the Bay Area in almost a month and I Am Fiending. Which I put in the WIN collumn of LA Hasn't Turned Me.
  • [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa wrote me bandom baby fic for christmas. No for srs. Look!
  • [livejournal.com profile] gelasius and I talk on the phone, near daily, for like 4 hours at a stretch.
  • I'm sure there's more, but I'm tired and I started this post more than 24 hours ago. It needs posting.
Anything you wanna know?
grooving to: Dexter 2x07-12 and then Tin Man
mood:: content
26 November 2007 @ 05:57 pm
Note to Self: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!  
The Bad Day of your cycle is NOT a good time to lower your anti-anxiety medication.

::vibrates and jumps at the slightest sound::

[livejournal.com profile] permetaform and I half-way moved into our apartment. We have no food, but we can bathe, dress and sleep there! Wheee!!!

House Warming Party info to follow.
grooving to: Ravenous OST (shut up it's soothing.)
mood:: anxious
31 October 2007 @ 07:16 pm
  • George will be attending on Saturday. Yes! YOU get to meet George! And love him and hug him and squeeze him and CALL HIM GEORGE!!
  • [livejournal.com profile] par_avion, [livejournal.com profile] spaggel, and [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa are staying with me. [livejournal.com profile] permetaform will be in town, but not at the con. She's taking a social sabbatical - for a while.
  • I'll be checking in Thursday night. I hear y'all gather at the pool?
  • I'm trying to organize a get together *thing* for those who want to come together and remember [livejournal.com profile] diluvian. Her husband, Robert, will be in attendance on Saturday from 6:00-8:00. I'm not sure if we should do dinner? Room gathering? Bueler? Discuss here
I'll be posting a room number when I have it. If you have yours first text me!
mood:: excited
grooving to: She Wants Revenge - Us
23 October 2007 @ 07:18 pm
[PSA] We are NOT taking I-5 home.  
Fear not! A lovely co-worker told me about the fires on I-5. [livejournal.com profile] permetaform and I aren't going home tonight as previously planned. We'll be driving home tomorrow IN THE DAY TIME down HWY 101 (or HWY99 and some other fire free junction). It might take us ALL DAMN DAY, which is why we're leaving TOMORROW, in the morning-ish.


ALSO! Remember when I turned a bunch of you onto the splendiferous Mr. Timberlake? Well I plan to do the same with Cobra Starship. WHEREIN THERE IS AN ENTIRE SONG OF WORSHIP TO THE SPLENDIFEROUS MR. TIMBERLAKE.


Dammit. WHY DON'T I HAVE A GABE SAPORTA ICON YET!! GAH!! ::stalks off to amend::
grooving to: Cobra Starship - Kiss My SAss
locale: San Francisco. Kearny St.
21 September 2007 @ 01:27 pm
A few more details on Fred.  
Fred photographs flowers. Beautifully. He makes that o'keefe person look like a doudy dull poser. Fred does things with lighting and *color* that just STUN the viewer. I'll probably post some of his work later. I mention this only b'c I heard from [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa (who lives in the Berkeley House with most of my family) told me that Fred has lost his sense of aesthetics. Fred picked a filthy piece of something off the ground and wanted to give it to the girl he has a crush on. Mom stopped him. Told him that if he gave it to the woman she'd think he was "mad". But... that's the most devastating thing I can think of happening to Fred. Not knowing what's beautiful. Fred has also been clinically manic the past two months or so. He's hooked up with Berkeley Mental Health and Dad's taking him to a mental clinic where Fred can meet with a psychiatrist and get a 2 week supply of medication.

Fred may also be having visual hallucinations vs. George's memories being deluded with paranoia and grandness. Fred's been talking about haunted houses and demons. Demons! GAH! Poor Fred!!

I just got off the phone with the San Francisco coroner's office to confirm whether Chia had actually committed suicide/died. B'c George IS delusional and Dad was also thinking Chia's mom might've just been trying to keep George from calling the house - which he apparently had been. Chia is dead. My very first thought when George told me was OH THANK GOD YOU TWO BROKE UP MONTHS AGO. Second thought was Shit! Poor George! Third thought was a fist pump of win b'c SHE CAN'T BREAK HIM ANYMORE!!! And then I did lots of authentic empathy things on the phone at him.

I feel very proud of all my hard work and therapy that ding dong the bitch is dead was my *third* thought. Though I don't hold any of you to the same standard. Some of you may be fond of George through me and a tiny handful of you have met him, but he's not your brother. You aren't talking to him on the phone Every Day. You can totally celebrate first if you want. *g*

I know some of you are concerned but I really am doing okay. If I fall apart this weekend I'll let you know.

Oh and I caught a cold MY SECOND WEEK AT WORK. WOO!! ::rollseyes:: Someone let me touch their equipment while they were ill. Of course NOW I remember that I need hand sanitizer ON MY DESK AT ALL TIMES. B'c I crawl under desks, use other peoples keyboards/mouses, etc., etc.


grooving to: Justin Timberlake - Floatin'
mood:: sick
20 September 2007 @ 09:51 pm
So remember that girl that George was dating and dumped him?  
Chia committed suicide a few days ago. George found out yesterday.

Oh and Fred had his first psychotic break last night. Fred's 27.

I am in my logic place. Where unsettling emotions don't unsettle me.



B'c yesterday after the Tool was being all TOOL SHAPED My two bosses in New York TOTALLY CALLED ME to offer support and said nice things. And then today one of them would call and the other would e-mail me whenever I e-mailed the lot of IT with questions. AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE TOOL EVEN ONE TIME. \o/

And my shiny geek boss showed up at work this morning and EVERY TIME HE TALKS TO ME HE ASKS ME HOW I'M DOING. Not in that "Fine. Fine" sort of way, but genuine concern and stuff. And everybody thinks I'm a rock star!

I have another whole post to do on the difference between jerks and assholes and how I can adore the former but loathe the latter LIKE WHOA.
mood:: tired
17 September 2007 @ 08:09 am
Safely back in Burbank!  
For those of you playing at home - I have arrived! All safe and stuff.
mood:: sleepy
grooving to: Finger Eleven - Paralyzer
15 September 2007 @ 12:51 pm
I believe Robert's going to be okay - eventually.  
[livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa and I stayed with Robert last night. None of us interacted much, we all just sort of passed out. But Robert and Lier and I had a lovely chat this morning. For a couple of hours. And after that it is my very firm belief that Roberts' going to be okay - eventually. The way Lier put it is that when he talks it's like a *whole* person is speaking to you. Not the shell of a person, not the "good face" of a person, but a whole person. I believe that it's Robert's world that is shattered and broken around him, but not him. I'm not worried anymore. It's going to *suck* and some days are going to Suck Out LOUD but I believe Robert's going to heal and keep going.

I'll post about the funeral, and how lovely and painful it was, later. I just wanted to let everyone know that Robert's going to be okay.

x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] darlingdiluvian
mood:: hopeful
10 September 2007 @ 10:23 pm
I get TWO WEEKS of training!! Alternately from my boss and our boss (who don't have fancy LJ fake-names yet). TWO FREAKIN' WEEKS!!!


Oh and my first day? Consisted of me setting up my own user accounts for all the various *things* on the network and BUILDING MY COMPUTER AND THEN INSTALLING ITS SOFTWARE. Oh and my boss bought me (the new I.T. person) lunch at this particular Japanese place AS IS TRADITION IN THE I.T. DEPARTMENT!!


ETA: When I'm not so brain dead (this weekend?) and have appropriate LJ fake-names for co-workers I'll be telling you stories. But I basically got POUNCED by everybody in the office with OUR VERY OWN TECH!! and IT'S A GIRL!!!

30 days
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grooving to: New Young Pony Club - The Bomb
mood:: excited
10 September 2007 @ 06:22 am
Healing sleep. 16 whole hours worth.  
When I finally went to bed Saturday afternoon I didn't get out again for 16 whole hours. Oh and when I woke up I had my period! yay! I get cramps on my first day of work! Woo! [/attempts-to-remain-positive]

When I woke up from the sleep I felt like sunshine again. There's still a hole in the world, but I don't feel as unbalanced as the days before. I "knew" I was going to be okay, but now I *feel* like I'm gonna be okay. And that makes a huge difference.
mood:: groggy